Girlfriends and Why We Need Them

© Duchess O’Blunt, 2010

There are many relationships that women develop and nurture throughout their lives, but the one thing we tend to overlook is the need to give ourselves something to help us recharge.

We are mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, and grandmothers. The circle of life dictates these relationships, and we work hard at making them work.

The one thing that helps give us a much needed balance, is the time we spend with our girlfriends. It is actually a proven fact - I kid you not.

Consider your girlfriends ladies, take a look at why you like to spend some time with them. You'll understand what I am talking about

Stress or how we handle stress is a large part of our “wellness” regime - or it should be. There are many new age medicines and routines that some find helpful, while others lean toward getting emotional help from professionals. I believe a scientific understanding of the hormones that cause, ward off, or enhance stress will go a long way to helping us deal with it.

Please bear with me in this next paragraph as I try to explain in lay terms what I read in some of the articles posted as reference.

Typically when we are confronted and placed in a stressful situation, it is our nature to fight or flee. A 2002 study from UCLA [source] indicates that we produce the hormone, oxytocin, which tempers that flight or fight response and encourages us to tend the children and gather with other women. When that happens and we surrounded ourselves with other women and children, more oxytocin in released and calmness prevails. I kid you not, this has been studied and documented.

Apparently testosterone reduces the affect of oxytocin while estrogen enhances it.

Women gathering around other women for support appears to be a natural form of stress release and a natural survival technique. Women who form bonds of friendship with other women tend to live longer. Please don’t take my word for it. Start your own research with this article, and then search for more if you find it hard to believe.

I tend to lean toward believing this information, but perhaps that is partly because I want to believe it. These studies give me permission to develop and keep those “girlfriend” relationships, and not feel guilty about building an emotional support network. It’s a natural thing and might even stand to reason that the more friends a woman has, the happier she will be.

So to the ladies in the house, having those women friends is good for your health. “Study after study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol.” 1

May I suggest you rethink your excuses for not getting together with your girlfriends, daughters, mothers, sisters, aunts and grandmothers? Find some time in your busy schedule for those things that really matter and build up your social network and support group.

You can give yourself permission because it is good for your health! Maybe not as good as a steamy workout, but for most of us a lot more fun! With a little effort, some ingenuity and a willingness to let loose and let others see the fun and whacky side of you, you can make this an interesting and fun part of your health regime. Take it from one who has a large circle of female relatives and friends with whom I have shared many such times.

Stop for a moment and think when was the last time you got together with the "girls"? Not because you felt obligated to keep in touch, but because you wanted to blow off some steam and have some fun? If you are like me and you find yourself out there working your butt off day after day, with a schedule so busy you don't think you can squeeze in enough time for something that is not productive - Give your head a shake, and give yourself permission to have some fun. Call up your girlfriends, your sister, your mom - whoever you have the most fun with and go out for something fun. It IS good for your health.

Let me share with you the story of my sisters - my choices for people to have fun with, and "twist it up" a bit. The pictures posted here are of some of the laughter we have had together over the years. We've done some wacky things and you can too. Always, always always with the goal in mind of having fun.

There is nothing quite like meeting the challenge head on from a sister or friend when she says, I want you to come dressed as a hillbilly and sing a solo while I play the juice harp. AND I want you to do this on the front lawn of our house! And don't worry, I have warned the neighbors that we are all getting together again. They will likely have their lawn chairs out and their cameras rolling.

We have had years of thinking up challenges for each other, trying to outdo each other, with the ultimate goal of letting off steam, having some fun and building relationships that will help us pull each other through whatever comes our way. It's simple, it works, and it has helped shape each of us into the women we have become. And we all believe we are well rounded.

Plan something, or just get together with the purpose of relaxing and you will be amazed at what happens. It's like spontaneous combustion - one thing leads to another, and before you know it - Wow! you are having some fun. Get up off the chair, turn off the computer and indulge in some of your own.

You know those times when you gather together with your family, the ladies will eventually come together to share stories, gossip, recipies and quip at each other while the men wander toward the television and whatever sports or news events are happening. That's because we are cooking something up. It was just one such family get together that started our 7 years of Twisting It Up Together.

And regardless of the inevitable squabbles - or downright fights - sharing time together has created some million dollar memories and a foundation of trust we carry with us everywhere.

Go on, have some fun