Celebration of Life Ideas

© Duchess O’Blunt, 2009; all rights reserved.

One of the most difficult times in a person's life is having to say that final goodbye to a loved one. What better way than to celebrate their life? A funeral is a sad time, there is no getting around it. Those who knew them will miss them, their leaving creates a whole that can now only be filled with memories. Helping them remember the good ones is a wonderful way to help them, hopefully bring a smile or two and hold the tears at bay for a few moments.

When someone you know has a loved one die, you feel for them and you want to help them somehow. It's often difficult to make the offer because you know they are swamped with decisions and details and you don't want to get in the way or add to the list of things they need to do or think about.

Going to them with a plan to help with any one of those things on their "to do" is something they will appreciate and will lesson the burden for them. Here are 4 things of a practical nature you can offer to do for them and help them to celebrate the life of their loved one:

1. Build a story board
2. Produce a slide show
3. Create a Memory book
4. Create a Memorial website (free)

You can buy or rent a large easel and story board. Sometimes, if the gathering after the funeral is held at a Church where they were a member, the Church will let you use theirs. Sometimes you will know someone who can offer you the use of one from where they work.

The story board can be large Bristol board, a cork board or a magnetic board on which you will then work to lay out items, pictures, and mementos.

The difficult part will be asking for these items. If you are a friend of the family, most often they will be grateful for what you are doing and will be happy to add to your collection. Try not to take anything that cannot be used, but listen - really listen when they tell you the story behind the item. It's important for them to be able to share that with someone.

The story board is a wonderfully versatile gift. Once created, depending on the Church where the service is held, it can be displayed in the foyer and then relocated to the celebration. If you offer to build this for them, be sure to find out if it can be displayed in the Church, then make the arrangements to have it delivered there and then to the celebration. Don't make this an added detail for the family to worry about.

The mementos will have to be returned, so please remember to take the story board down when you leave. Leave the return of the item for a day or two unless they have specifically asked that it be returned immediately. Returning the item is a good opportunity to sit and spend some time with them. Company is often a wonderful gift.

The construction of a story board should be built with this one question in mind: "Who was this person?" The finished story board should tell their story.  Some ideas of what to include:

Their Success - what were they most proud of?

• Their children and grandchildren/great grandchildren
• Book titles or articles they have written
• Community Involvement
• Artwork they have done
• A poem they have written or had written for them
  
• Volunteer work
• Articles written about them
  

A picture is worth a thousand words. Sharing pictures of the deceased is a wonderful way of remembering them.

One very practical way to help is to offer to put together a slide show that can be viewed at the "celebration of life" after the funeral. In order to produce said slide show you will need:

• A computer with slide show capability
• A scanner
• At least one memory stick or flash card
• A program that will help to touch up the pictures with basic things like croping, exposure, etc.
• The names and phone numbers of people who would be willing to lend you pictures to scan or let you take copies of the digital pictures they have

In order to share the slide show you have produced you will need to ensure you have the use of a laptop or computer to run the slide show. Do not offer to help with this until you are certain you have, or can obtain the use of the hardware required to run the show.

Depending on the location of the celebration of life and the number of people attending, you may decide to use a large screen TV, placed someplace high so that the maximum number of people can view the pictures. In this case you will require a large screen TV and a compatible computer. Most newer laptops are compatible if you have the correct cable connections. In most cases a VGA cable is all you need to connect the two pieces of hardware. If the VGA cable is long enough, you will then be able to run the slide show on both.

Be sure to set this up and have it running before the funeral begins so that you will not have to be fiddling with it, and guests will walk be able to walk in and see the pictures immediately.

Often these gatherings can be awkward for the guests and this is a wonderful opportunity for the guests to mingle and share their experiences and memories as the pictures roll on.

In many cases, there is a book to sign saying you were in attendance. This is nice for the family to review afterward because they don't always remember everything. You could offer to purchase this and make sure it is available for signature, and removed from the Church to the Celebration of Life after the service.

A great compliment to this would be a memory book. If you know the family, you can obtain copies of pictures or mementos (if not already used for the story board).

Buy a scrapbook, name it something like "Remembering John Smith" and add those things throughout the book.

Before the services, take that scrapbook around to some people who knew John Smith and ask them to write a brief memory. These can be on the same page as a picture, or on a separate page. You may even find other mementos for the book from the friends you ask to sign it.

Be sure to have this strategically placed with pen, and different colored pencils. Encourage guests to write their stories in their own words, but don't push it on anyone who does not want to. Generally all it takes is one person to start. This can also be a wonderful opportunity for guests to share with each other.

If there will be children present, it's not a bad idea to provide them with crayons and paper. You might even want to include some of those in your memory book.

By getting some before the Celebration of LIfe, you will encourage others to write in the memory book at the service. This is a great way for everyone to contribute.

When a loved one has passed, those closest are often too emotional to think of the practical things.  If you are involved in any way with the details, know that your help is invaluable.  You might not be able to afford to help in a monetary means, but being supportive is just as important just as helpful and very much appreciated.

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