Life and My own Mid Life Reflections

71

By Duchess OBlunt

© Duchess O’Blunt, 2010; all rights reserved.

How To Live Your Best Life

Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential
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Mid Life Crisis - did you make it through that?

You know about these things. If you are younger, you’ve heard many people use this as an excuse for doing something wild and crazy, or for not doing something wild and crazy. You shake your head and swear you are going to be better than that.

If you are creeping on up to that time in your life you are wondering how you are going to handle it, and you’re sure you will handle it better than Miss So and So did.

If you are there, you might just be wondering what you did with your life, and now are scrambling to get to all those things on your bucket list.

If you have passed that stage in your life – CONGRATULATIONS! And please be sure to leave a comment so I can come over to your hubs and congratulate you in person, while I not so subtly try to pry all the secrets out of you.

Was it Earth Shattering? Life Altering?

Is it easy to see it coming, this mid-life "moment"? Is it an earth shattering space in time when all things change as a result? Or has it been creeping up on you for awhile, unnoticed, just waiting to pounce?

I have enjoyed some of my favorite hubbers describe the mid life crisis of their friends and loved ones. The braver ones have even told their own stories. Some of the tales are entertaining, some are educational and some you have to think they really had an "ah ha!" moment that changed things. It was inspiration for me to attempt to do something similar – if not as well done.

Everyone deals with this differently I'm sure - me I'd like to avoid it altogether. But I am there. I didn't have an "ah ha!" moment, just the realization of my own mortality and that I really have to stop dreaming about doing what I want to do and just do it! I spend way too much time contemplating the serious and very little time on the fun. I'd rather be having fun, but my mind has a mind of it's own most days and wanders back to the serious contemplations.

I can often be found staring off into space while pretending to function. My brain will float by on cruise control and all bodily functions are performed on auto pilot as I let my mind drift and wonder around questions like; what do my kids really think of me?

Now answer this for me, who in her right mind would really want an answer to that question? That’s just inviting trouble. You know there are times that they love you to pieces - there are also times when they hate you just as passionately. And personally, I would just dwell on the unpleasant parts and would not be able to get passed that to the good parts. I’d be busy building my own defenses and forget about the fact that they love me to pieces – mostly.

There, this is a perfect example of the mind wondering. Now I am arguing with myself - should I delete this and start again? Nah, you old bat – you’d forget what you wanted to say. Hmm, what was it I wanted to say anyway?

You see what I mean?

Compliments of  www.morguefile.com Entitled Baby Boomer in Denial
Compliments of www.morguefile.com Entitled Baby Boomer in Denial

Being True to Yourself

As in all things in life, all the stages one must journey through, it is imperative that we each stay true to ourselves. There is no point in trying to be what you think someone else wants you to be. You can only pretend an interest that's not really there for so long before it becomes crystal clear you have been lying. That only hurts everyone involved.

With such deep thoughts rolling around the grey matter between the ears, I figure - it's about time I sit down and write something because writing is being true to myself. 

I am taking a look at where I have been, what I think I have accomplished, where I would like to be, and what things I would like to see disappear - and I am not talking about people, but about situations I'd like to change.

Life Two . . . Midlife Improvement

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Accomplishments

I think sometimes the mid-life crisis thing hits us because we spend so much time wondering what have we accomplished. Have we accomplished anything worthwhile?

I'm damn good at my job, have managed to provide a good home and can be counted on when it's needed.

I'm not rich in terms of money, but I certainly am in terms of love.

I'm not famous in terms of the world knowing who I am - but I am well known and loved by my husband, children, family and friends.

I have never made any big discoveries or inventions even though I'm sure some of them are my idea. I do have the privilege of being there for my loved ones to confide in, cry with and share their joys with.

Those things may not seem like much to some, but I consider them accomplishments on a very large scale.

What do I want?

Isn't that a loaded question?

I guess I would like the time to finish the important things I have started. I want life to be filled with love and laughter, good health and grandchildren.

What do I NOT want?

I'd like to get rid of excuses, debt, stress, diets and working for someone else. Not much is it?

My Bucket List

  • Write and have my novel published
  • Make money as a writer
  • At least a month in Scotland
  • Take a cruise
  • The Grand Tour
  • Fly to Paris for the weekend
  • Learn more about everything!



What do I want to leave behind?

  • Children and grandchildren
  • A better place. Not huge global issues, but a better place that I have touched and better people that I have loved.
  • Fond memories, and grand stories
  • Something that future generations or historians would be proud to write in their family history

Awakening at Midlife
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Listening to Midlife
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Midlife Manual for Men: Finding Significance in the Second Half (Life Transitions)
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I'm Sure I'll Make it Through

My mid-life crisis is not earth shattering. But I know this . . . looking on the other side of 50 changes my opinion on what is important. I'll work with that.

I'm not interested in making those wild and crazy changes because for the most part, I have stayed true to myself. I'll keep my man, my kids, my family and friends. There is no point in changing what works.

Today when I look at that mature lady in the mirror, I am grateful for most things. I'd have to say I wouldn't change anything because everything I have done has brought me to this point, and I'm lucky enough to say I like it here. Although I will admit I would be happy without the arthritis or the wrinkles, and the grey hairs could hold off for a few more years without breaking my heart.

To answer my own questions; I haven't had a mid-life "moment' or made any earth shattering discoveries. It has been a gradual understanding of me. No "ah ha!" moments, but certainly confirmation of where I'd like to go from here.

I am certain I will make it through, learning as I go. I've decided to change the "Mid-life Crisis" from a crisis to a process. Won't you join me?

Mid-Life

How do you view what so many call "Mid-Life"?

  • Oh, it's a crisis all right!
  • No, it's a process - and I'm busy working my way through it.
See results without voting

Comments

suziecat7 profile image

suziecat7 Level 5 Commenter 2 years ago

Great Hub. I think I just want to simplify in these years. And accept each day as what it is. And thank God a little more. Thanks from a fellow mid-lifer.

lmmartin profile image

lmmartin Level 6 Commenter 2 years ago

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all."

I think we're close in age - maybe. (57) I'm not a believer in the mid-life crisis thing, preferring to live a life of acceptance instead. Part of the problem for many is the idealisation of youth in our culture, and the resultant grief of leaving it behind (as though we hadn't already.) I like the old lady I see in the mirror and find her as beautiful as she was at eighteen -- just not eighteen any more. And I've always seen life as something like a book: turn the page to a new chapter.

The whole "mid-life crisis" is a non-existent problem. All our lives we've changed, moved on, grown. And it is also a misnomer, for surely mid-life is in our mid to late thirties not in our fifties. (How many 114 year old women have you met?)

While it is true our time is growing shorter in which to accomplish our dreams, why didn't we feel the need earlier? So how important are these goals? If we haven't already attended them, perhaps they are not as dear to us as popular myth makes them.

Go and grow, Duchess, but forget about having a crisis. To what purpose? You've been changing since the day you were born and will stop only the day you die.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

suziecat7 my pleasure

Mystique1957 profile image

Mystique1957 2 years ago

Barbara...

It is amazing how hard on ourselves we can be sometimes. Paradoxically, we forget that perfection is born from flaws being overcome, learnt and not being dwelt upon again. I am analyzing your article from the outside, and I can see you have accomplished a whole lot. I have come to terms with my evolution as a human being through the years, bit by bit. When I decided to let flow and relaxed and laughed more, everything started clicking like magic. I feel the most important things are: Attitude and Gratitude. Everything else stems from there.

Great input! Thumbs up!

warmest regards and blessings,

Al

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

lmmartin, I read your comment and am shaking my head yes, all the way through it, beginning with "I am my mother after all", to Go and Grow!

Even as I was writing this - after letting it sit for several days - making changes - I didn't get it right. You said it so much more succinctly.

My goals? The important ones - I've reached them, or am happy where I am. The bucket list of dreams - as you say, maybe they were not all that important to begin with, but I'd still like to get there :)

I guess my approach to the "Midlife crisis" is to consider that I like where I am. It's too late to change the title, dang it all.

:)

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Mystique1957 It seems I really need to rethink my ability to write, if I am making it sound like I am not happy with where I am. I really should change the title to something like Reflections.

I'm glad you are happy with where you are. That's great to hear.

(The name is Brenda by the way)

Ginn Navarre profile image

Ginn Navarre Level 1 Commenter 2 years ago

Ha,ha Duchess to you and all above---(THE BEST IS YET TO COME)

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Ginn, coming from you - I will take that to the bank! Thanks :)

VioletSun profile image

VioletSun Level 5 Commenter 2 years ago

HA! I was just thinking recently, as it has been nagging me, that I am now in my 50's, and always have excuses for not doiing this or that, and both my mate and I chatted about both of us doing this; didn't realize it was a mid life crisis. I want to leave something beautiful behind, such as inspiring people through my writings, this is being true to myself. This article is very timely, so thank you! :)

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

There's synchronicity at work for you VioletSun. Thanks for dropping by!

lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 Level 3 Commenter 2 years ago

I think you're a doll, and hey, midlife isn't so bad. I mean remember when everything was sooooo intense and chaotic? Drama all around!

At least now we have time to relax a bit!

Laurel

Winsome profile image

Winsome Level 6 Commenter 2 years ago

Duchess thank you for a thought provoking article. I think its all about poking your head up in the air like a ground hog and checking things out occasionally, even if it's only to see how big a shadow you're projecting. As the famous kid, now midlifer himself said: "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Your shadow has touched me Duchess and I'm the better for it.

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago

I am just grateful for what is at this time in my life. I don't worry much about things any more as I always get what I need. Very interesting hub.

Ann Nonymous profile image

Ann Nonymous 2 years ago

I like that you entitled it Mid life reflections than out and out mid life crisis! I love your lists be it bucket or things left behind! Great hub, Duchess, and you are very honest! A trait to be admired!

Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet Level 4 Commenter 2 years ago

I think most people stop to take stock of their lives when they touch 40 or 50 but very few are lucky to discover what it is they really want! You have some very workable 'wants' DOB...all the best with them! :)

H P Roychoudhury profile image

H P Roychoudhury 2 years ago

You are concern with the mid life crisis in the way of making a life worthwhile. But what I realized at this age of my life is that the crisis of a life starts at the very outset sometimes with understanding and sometimes with without understanding. Every moment is a moment of crisis for life. To make a life worthwhile what is said in school curriculum that one should follow strictly the virtue of discipline and perseverance and try to keep the self in good environment was the correct approach of life. We understand all these virtues only in the later stage of our life.

emievil profile image

emievil 2 years ago

Hey Duchess. Is it belated or advance 50th birthday? I'm still years away from mid-life crisis (I'll be 50 this year) but if ever I reach that age, I'll remember this hub of yours and get inspiration from it :).

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

@lorlie6 - a doll, why thank you kindly little lady. Sure do appreciate that. :)

Yes I remember the drama and chaos. Loved every minute of ti. But I could use a little time to relax. Haven’t found it yet, but I could use it.

@Winsome I guess that’s what I was doing here, poking my head out, taking a look around. Thanks for sharing in that

@Pamela99 I am grateful too.

@ Ann Nonymous I didn’t actually start out with that title, but it seems a better fit don’t you think? Thank you for reading my "reflections" and sharing them with me.

@Feline Prophet they are workable wants aren’t they? If only I could win that lottery, I’d ask you all to join me on that weekend trip to Paris :) Wouldn't that be fun

@ HP Roychoudhur I agree, we do only understand some if the important things when we are older. Too bad we did not have some of that wisdom when we are younger.

@ emievil, belated wishes for me, early for you - Happy 50th! :)

I suggest we all take lmmartin’s approach and stay away from the “crisis” all together. :)

Thanks every one for your warm and friendly comments. It was a very nice way to greet the day.

emievil profile image

emievil 2 years ago

Ooopppps, sorry about that. I meant I'll be 35 this year. My fault.

aguasilver profile image

aguasilver Level 6 Commenter 2 years ago

I read you today because of this title, it's an area I have pondered much recently, and it produced two hubs that more of less explain where I am.

I'm comfortable,with myself, but see many areas where change would be better fo my family, I'd like to see my son and daughter married, the son could be possible, he's 20, but no dating as far as I know, the daughters a mite more tricky as she is 8 yeas old and I'm 58!

Apart from that I think it's time that I stopped waiting for a request to say what I think to the world, and just told it as it is, warts and all.

We have no idea who may be reading our hubs in the future, and it's possible that with the internet we may be readable long past our demises.

That's both exhilarating and frightening at the same time!

Good hub, glad you wrote it!

John

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee Level 4 Commenter 2 years ago

Help-I'm having a "late-life" crisis! Great hub. There will always be a crisis. Life is a knot. The truth starts to unravel at some point. While "up to this point", we didn't question. We were too busy. Now we can see the present and part of the future. Thanks

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

@ emievil LOL what a slip that is. Don’t rush it :) Happy Birthday anyway!

@ aguasilver I’m happy to hear the title intrigued you. I had to change it after it was written because I think it was a better fit. I’m heading over to read your two hubs.

Your son – yes it’s likely you will see him married (I hope the same as mine are both young men now)

While I’m sure you’d love to see your daughter happily married – it’s not something you want to push at this point is it? Just think though, she will have the wisdom you have gathered over the years to guide her. One always hopes we do enough.

You are so right; we have no idea who might read these, either now or in the future. I TRY very hard to keep that in mind before I hit the “Publish” button. I want to say what is in my heart to say, but I try to say it carefully.

Here’s to your exhilarating future!

@ Micky Dee I actually wrote this thinking to myself – I don’t really have a midlife crisis so much as a midlife reflection. As I wrote I realized how fortunate I am because I like it here where I am right now - mostly. At the same time, there are things I would still like to accomplish. I’m supposed to have time to do that, but seriously – I’m soooo busy these days.

Thank you everyone for your interest and support and comments. Again I say – I’m in for a great day! I wish you all the same.

akirchner profile image

akirchner Level 4 Commenter 2 years ago

It all does go by so very quickly - but I always say being here and at least suffering a midlife crisis surely beats the alternative. I think we all reevaluate from time to time and that is good - gets us perhaps where we need to be in the future. Hope so!

sunflowerbucky profile image

sunflowerbucky Level 1 Commenter 2 years ago

Great hub! My husband is at this point in life, and since I am ten years younger, I find it hard to comprehend. This was eye opening for me, so thank you!

Smireles profile image

Smireles Level 1 Commenter 2 years ago

Duchess, I think you titled your hub right. I preferred to call it a mid-life review. When I was young I never thought I was old or even middle age. Turning 40 was just another day because I decided a long time ago that 50 was the red letter day! You can imagine my consternation on my 50th birthday!

I made a list of the things that were truly important to me. As a result I went to college and got my BS after I was 50. There are some other goals I have put to the front of my agenda. My point is that if there is something you really wanted to do; I think you should do it. Think about the things that matter so you will have no regrets when you really are old.

Hope this makes sense. Blessings! and, I really loved the hub!

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

@ akirchner It certainly does go quickly. More so the older you get.

I like your thought process as you “reflect”. It’s better than the alternative! And I’m sure the re-evaluation process is a GOOD thing

@ sunflowerbucky 10 years is not that big a gap, as akirchner says, it goes quickly.

Glad to help :)

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Hi Smireles! Glad to see you, and I’m thrilled you got your BS – no matter the age! Good going and Congratulations!

There are a few things I really want, and have made the decision to work on them. Your story just gives me that little extra incentive! Thank you for sharing it.

Blessing back at you, and I’m glad you enjoyed.

Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago

Terrific hub, I'm glad you put it out there without a lot of editing, and right from the heart. Me, I'm 52, and some days I just can't believe I'm that old, I feel like a kid really, and other days, I feel as old as the hills. Over the hill, and heading toward the sun. I know just what you mean about being of two minds about aging.

IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice Level 1 Commenter 2 years ago

A lovely hub indeed! Like it or not, the crisis will hit home, and we must deal with it, however we can. The game seem to be changing with age being shifted and Hollywood defining it for us. Hello! I'm done with it, and survived it, thank God! Yes, life is sweeter, more yummy, like aged wine. I'd like to share this among my friends in Facebook, if that's ok.

Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann Level 2 Commenter 2 years ago

Being days away from 40 and noticing those fine lines forming around my mouth and eyes and the grays I can no longer ignore. It was when my youngest started kindergarten last fall that I started to question and reflect on where life was heading and what I really wanted. My birthday present which I have been given already is a MacBook to accomplish my writers dream...from my more than supportive husband (sometimes he has more faith in me than I do). I wouldn't change a thing about my life or things that have happened and the people and places I have known along the way. Of course like you they have made me the person that I am good or bad.

I am glad that I am not the only one who thinks about these things. Thanks for sharing your reflections. Makes me feel not so alone.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

@ Paradise7, hello my friend! There seems to be a lot of us here in and around the same age. I am indeed amongst good company. And we are NOT old, we are better. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

@ IslandVoice, thank you very much for such a nice complement. I would be honoured if you felt like sharing this with your friends. Please feel free to.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Tammy, I almost didn’t recognize you, cool Avatar. Is that your back yard? :) Welcome my friend; it’s good to hear from you. Cool that you got a MacBook – I love my Big Mac 24. Why did you go the route of a laptop if I might ask? Are you used to a PC or have you used a Mac before? The reason I ask is because the word program is quite a bit different. Let me know if you have any trouble adjusting

Sharing my reflections was not as easy as I thought it would be, but it’s good for the soul. Or so I’m told. You are not alone, there are many of us here right now. You are in good company.

It sounds to me like your husband is a very smart man. It's great you have his faith in you as you move forward with your new venture. Let me know if there is anything I can help you with there too.

Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams Level 2 Commenter 2 years ago

Duchess OBlunt - I really love the title of your hub. As I learned early on in my life that the meaning of crisis was an opportunity to change. I learned to welcome it. And midlife what a better time for reflections. There's no time like the present.

At 52, I am content and feel as though my life has just really begun. Sometimes, I feel like my life has been backwards from the start.

As a child I was an adult, as an adult I'm like a child, discovering new things everyday. A while back I remember reflecting on my life and thinking, I could die tomorrow and I really think I would be o.k. with that. It would be sad and I would miss many things, but I look around me everyday and realize just how blessed I am.

I am blessed with a loving caring husband, two beautiful daughters, two really terrific son- in -laws and 3 grandchildren.

I couldn't ask for anything more. As I write quite often, my happiest time is just being. Being present and fully aware of the moment.

Do I struggle with the aches and pains of physically growing older you bet I do. But I also joined a gym and have been very active. Something I have never been able to do in my entire life. I hate to exercise, I guess I'm determined to fight it.

I'm just rambling at this point and not even sure if I have made any sense.

I really enjoyed your hub and found your thoughts interesting. Thanks for sharing and enjoy the rest of your life. You sound like you have a very beautiful family.

Till next time,

Sage

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Sage Williams. Welcome to my world. I smiled when you said, “I'm just rambling at this point and not even sure if I have made any sense.” So often I feel exactly the same way.

You are wonderfully blessed. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Yes, I do have a beautiful family. :)

anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh Level 2 Commenter 2 years ago

" I have never made any big discoveries or inventions even though I'm sure some of them are my idea. I do have the privilege of being there for my loved ones to confide in, cry with and share their joys with."

Let me say Duchess we are on the same page on this one. When I look back I don't find much to my credit except for being an unconditionally loving Mom and I guess I'm happy with that. If my child looks up to me, my purpose is fulfilled. Somehow, the other aspects of my life (including my career) gradually lost importance so much so that now, nothing else matters. I'm sure many of your fans / readers (including me) would easily relate to you as far as mid life crisis is concerned. Sooner or later we all go through it. Thanks for a wonderful read.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Welcome anjalichugh! Thank you for visiting.

I'm very pleased that you are right there with me (and many of us I will agree).

Our children take precedence and I think that's as it should be.

Glad you dropped by

uliveulearn profile image

uliveulearn 2 years ago

"Being true to yourself", I think that is where the crisis part comes in for those who wake up and don't know who they are when the realization of the passage of time hits. Sometimes women are so deeply involved in caring for everyone else and trying to keep up with all demands of the day that we get lost for awhile. The kids eventually leave, the job has lost its appeal or is gone altogether and then what. Now the reflections and panic start to set in. It is a time of transition into our more inner selves and to move forward with more focus and value of time. We are blessed with awareness and contentment in simplicity.

Bravo to Smireles.

Mystique..."Attitude and Gratitude"..so true.

Ginn Navarre..."The Best is yet to come"....I believe it.

Mickey Dee..."Life is a knot"....love it.

Yes, Duchess, we will all make it through, learning and growing in the process. It looks like you wrote the bucket for me. Great thoughts, so glad I stopped by. Thanks for the link.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

uliveulearn, you’ve been busy reading the comments too! Busy girl. Thank you for dropping by, we are all glad you did :)

It’s funny you mentioned transition. I wrote a hub on that too.

You liked my bucket list? Feel like a trip to Paris for the weekend? Maybe we can get our hair done, visit the spa, take in the sights, eat some fabulous French cuisine, and reflect on how fortunate we are!

Just as soon as I make my millions with my book – I’ll extend the invitation.

It could happen.

(You’re very welcome for the link. It fits rather nicely, thank you for writing it)

fishtiger58 profile image

fishtiger58 Level 1 Commenter 2 years ago

No mid life crisis for me either, just ambling along towards old age I guess.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Let's amble along together fishtiger58! And enjoy the ride.

Lady_E profile image

Lady_E Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago

Very interesting Read Duchess.

I like what you wrote about being True to yourself. I think we should see "Mid Life" as a positive change. The next step to a better era. I look at your Avatar and still see a lovely, young Duchess.

Well done on all you've accomplished in life so far. Some people haven't accomplished half of it.

Everything in your Bucket list is just the beginning of an exciting new life - waiting to open up to a lot more interesting, exciting, mind-blowing, fulfilling things.

Best Wishes. :)

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Lady_E, thanks for the encouragement. Positive attitude and gratitude, that's what I'm working toward.

I like your idea of what my Bucket list will do for me!

girlpower 2 years ago

great hub made me really think. I have had several midlife crisis and each time i thought it would be the last. Twice divorced I had to change my life and go another path. As one gets older you realize that you must be true to yourself. However I do have regrets the times I have hurt people or choosen to start a new life. Every growth has its cost. I believe that each of us have more than one soulmate in this life and that one must be careful not to try to experience all of them that come your way. Its better to acknowledge them but to try and stay true to your previous committment, as in another life or in future life you will be able to experience anything that you left behind. I choose not to have any children and i believe the novels and short stories i have written are an alternative to living vicariously through your children. My stories replace that instinct, my legacy i hope will be my novels that show my journey through a life of a child of the seventies and all the growing pains that came with being a feminist and all the things i gave up in my pursuit of freedom and finding out who i was. It was a wonderful time for women who were becoming a force to be reckoned with, who sometimes chose to remain childless so they could have the energy to have a career and to be free to go where they wanted and with who they choose. I believe now is the time for men to adjust to the world where women are empowered and men should try to empower their wives and daughters which is has shown to uplift societies.

Looking back on my life i am proud that i have loved the people that i can and that i have been their for my families, that i lived an exiciting life.

Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann Level 2 Commenter 2 years ago

I have been using a mac for about two years now so I am used to the programs. The avatar pic is a cypress swamp near my home. I thought it looked really incongruent with snow in it. My husband took the pic during our "winter storm"...That's what they call a couple of inches down here.

I really enjoyed your hub!

lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 Level 2 Commenter 2 years ago

Well, I guess I am older than you guys...at bit, I think. Yes I am a boomer and I have been through many changes. With my career in mortgage lending practically ending after 30+ years...I am adjusting to being at home. Never thought about retiring at this time..it is called the 'meltdown'and moving back to the country in MS. So that is why I discovered writing online. Yes, I had always wanted to write..so sometimes we face the unexpected to be allowed to follow a dream. No, I am not perfect but you guys are suppose to tell me my errors because I am older than you and you need to help me!!!!! hee, hee

Great hub and I enjoyed reading...we all have a path and each change is where we learn and grow and begin again.

Linda

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

@ Tammy, Love the Mac! And I really like the picture. Storm indeed LOL!

@ Ictodd1947, if as you say you are older than we are, we (at least me) should be asking your direction and corrections, not the other way around. So feel free.

Here’s to new beginnings!

michiganman567 profile image

michiganman567 Level 4 Commenter 2 years ago

Great work, I'm not there yet, but maybe I will be better prepaid when it comes. I will just try to keep having fun then I don't have to worry about being disappointed.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Good advise michiganman567. Think I'll try to work on that myself :)

Thanks for stopping by.

Nancy's Niche profile image

Nancy's Niche Level 1 Commenter 2 years ago

My most depressing time was turning 45. I woke up that day and thought, "what was that all about?" I counted my blessings and give thanks for each new day. I am much more comfortable and relaxed with every passing birthday. Enjoy life, it's better than the alternative! :o)

"Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul."~Samuel Ullman

"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."~Chili Davis

"The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.~Doug Larson

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Nancy's Niche, I'm happy you are reaxed with your birthdays and over the depressing part. The quotes are a great addition. Thanks :)

habee profile image

habee Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago

Mine is overdue - I'm 51! Great hub!

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

LOL, habee, looking forward to it

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee Level 8 Commenter 2 years ago

I think every milestone is a "mid-life" crisis, especially for Boomers who never expected to live past 30 in the first place.

The day each of my children went off to kindergarten, for instance, was a collision with mortality - I was no longer "Mommy", but officially a *parent*. A grown up. Egads! Delivering the youngest daughter to college (and having to leave her there!) was also earth-shattering.

For women with children at least, an empty nest is perhaps more of a mid-life crisis than a 40-something man suddenly realizing he has more hair in his ears than on his head and tries to turn back the clock by dumping the wife for a younger model and/or buying a shiny red sports car.

In that respect, I think women handle aging much better than men; they accept that they won't look the same at 50 as they did at 20.

As for accomplishments, none of my children are in prison, but settled and leading productive lives. And I took the dream trip years ago. ;D

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Hi JamaGenne. Nice to see you. It's been awhile.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I liked your note on your accomplishments "none of my children are in prison, but settled and leading productive lives." That's huge.

I'm glad you took that dream trip. Did you write about it? I'd love to read that.

jstankevicz profile image

jstankevicz 2 years ago

Mid life crisis is just a name applied to that period of reflection that many go through in that 50ish period. If your reflections make you uncomfortable that might be a call to action. Might be time to reinvent your self. If those reflections make you smile, then amble on.

I expect for most it's a combination of feelings, but the uncomfortable ones stick out and stick on. If you are in that reflection period, you can't deny it, so roll with it. It's not a matter of thinking positively or thinking negatively but more a matter of thinking reflectively. Seems pretty natural to me.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Jstankevicz, I agree that most, if not all of us go through the “reflection” stage sooner or later. I think that how we react to our reflections determines how we go forward. Personally, I’m quite happy where I am, and will work on those goals I haven’t obtained yet.

Thanks for the visit.

James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins Level 8 Commenter 2 years ago

I can handle whatever life throws my way at this point, except suffering. I don't suffer well. I find life to be ever more fascinating and incredible. It's hard to imagine a more intriguing and challenging world than this one. You'll be fine. :-)

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Thanks James.

heart4theword profile image

heart4theword Level 4 Commenter 2 years ago

As I get older, I have seen women who have gone through mid-life crisis. I was amazed, I guess I was programmed by the world, that only men went through this. Understanding now, that it can affect men or women.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

hert4theword, everyone eventually has to come to terms with growing older. Men and Woman. Programed? Maybe it was just that men used this as an excuse and we were programed to accept it? Not so much any more though.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose Level 8 Commenter 2 years ago

Hi, I only came over to read your other one, and I can't stop reading! LOL this was great, and I know what you mean. I am going towards being 'older' kicking and screaming!! no, seriously I have learned as I have got older, not to worry about other peoples opinions so much. I used to spend so much time worrying about other peoples ideas about me, now I just say, forget it. thanks nell

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

I like how you think!

stars439 profile image

stars439 Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago

Life is many things. Of course you know this already. Being happy is a good goal. Being comfortable when you can, and sharing happiness is always a plus. God Bless You.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Thank you stars439 God Bless you too.

DustinsMom profile image

DustinsMom 2 years ago

Love the title. Reflection is a warm nice word. One we can embrace. Which is what we should do as we grow older. Embrace and reflect. Our attitude makes it so much easier to get through the stages of life.

Enjoyed reading your hub!

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 2 years ago

Thanks DustinsMom. Enjoyed having you here

saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 Level 7 Commenter 22 months ago

What an enjoyable read. I kinda went through the mid 50's crisis until I turned 60 and realized HEY I'm still here and stronger than ever. I put everything into it's proper perspective and simply endorsed myself, accepting ME finally for who I am, not what I may or may not have accomplished.

I wake up each morning, rub my eyes, welcome the daylight into my room and say thank you world for giving me another day. Plant both my feet firmly on the floor, stretch, go for my morning pee:0) and feel thankful that I am able to squirt without any pain, telling me my prostrate is still fine.

Look at my mug in the mirror and tell it. I love you, then make my java and go on loving the world the rest of the day. You see, I don't chase anymore dreams, I just be me and live each day like it's my last. It's tough but there are no more dreams and careers to chase, so one must come to grips with mortality and share what we have left with others.

It's still a beautiful world, even with it's ugliness looming around every corner. However we must do our best and trying to leave some kind of legacy of good I believe is important. Helping others achieve their goals and aspirations is a good thing to.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 22 months ago

saddlerider1, I'm glad you enjoyed the read. It's funny how much easier it is to start accepting "me" the older we get.

I still think it's important to have dreams...no matter the age and no matter how small or how big the dream. It gives us a reason to get up in the morning.

You are right, it IS a beautiful world, and it IS important to help others see that.

Here's hoping your mirror sees you smiling every morning!

michael ely profile image

michael ely 18 months ago

Hi Duchess, I came across this article of yours and really like it. It's also quite enlightening seeing other peoples comments on this subject. I like to think i've done things in recent years that previously i wouldn't have done. Just small things, but things i probably wouldn't have attempted before. But rather than see it as a midlife crisis i tend to think of it as just doing things i should have been doing anyway, and getting older helps you to realise that it's only yourself that regrets things that you end up not doing. Thanks. Michael.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 17 months ago

I like that michael... let's not regret the things we didn't do. :)

ThomasRydder 6 months ago

Ah, My Madame Duchess, you do write things that make us all take a good poke at ourselves. Whether it's the "ah-ha" moment, or a gradual awakening, I think the crisis is a darned good thing to have. For many of us (myself included), I think we'd prefer our enlightenment had come somewhat sooner...but then perhaps we wouldn't have had the maturity to appreciate it. By the way "my mind has a mind of its own" TOO good!! Thanks for this hub, m'lady :)TR

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 6 months ago

I have to say that for some of us - those who tend to ponder the serious too much and too often - the crisis would be great if we could just get over it more quickly than we do. Talk about poking fun at yourself!

I would certainly have appreciated the wisdom and the enlightenment sooner. But, that's life.

Thanks for the read.

megni profile image

megni Level 4 Commenter 4 months ago

You're a Duchess in every sense of the word. Great Hub. Thanks for sharing.

Duchess OBlunt profile image

Duchess OBlunt Hub Author 4 months ago

I'm glad you enjoyed it megni. Thanks for the visit.

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